Donkeys Aren’t Deaf - Ranting and Raving- More APAT Misery.

I’ve been guilty of many a rant at the poker table and I guess that’s something I have to live with as I’m never going to totally eradicate that from my game no matter how hard I try. (I do try) I really wish I could just take bad beats, bad play, slow rolls etc. and let it all wash over me but I just can’t.

Well not 100% of the time anyway. Sometimes I get unlucky and I’m fine with it and other times I have a bit of a rant. There is no real way of knowing what triggers it for me as it can be in a tiny buy-in or insignificant game where I have a minutes red mist and other really big games where I take it as I should all the time.

I’m very embarrassed by it often within seconds of doing it, yet still cannot stop myself. My language on occasions is just awful and if ever my mother was sat at the same table as me she’d be washing my mouth out with soap.

On a positive note I’m generally a good winner and don’t give people rub downs when I get lucky or on those rare occasions where I might actually outplay someone. (Unless I know them well enough then it’s allowed of course!)

Played the APAT English Open at G Coventry last Saturday and it didn’t go well. I had a massively frustrating day right from the get go. I didn’t get above the 15k starting stack at any point.

I had one pretty tough opponent on my table and 8 others who I wasn’t the slightest bit worried about. Our table was very nitty and this was proved by the point that I was the first player eliminated from the table at about level 8 I think it was.

Based on what the APAT stands for I should just play and enjoy them, I’d just so like to win one that I end up taking it far too seriously. I put pressure on myself because I want to do well and when I made a bad call (well I told the guy the exact 2 cards he had, I was right & still called) versus some total nit who’s probably never bluffed in his life. I was furious with myself. My language was awful, though it was directed at me which made it slightly less terrible. I had to apologise to a lady player sat 2 to my right after I’d calmed down. What a dick I am sometimes. Bearing in mind this is an APAT event I felt really bad about it.

After exiting the main event at almost exactly 8.30pm I entered the £20 evening comp and actually enjoyed it a lot. No pressure on myself and I played well. I had a good table with some nice people on and we had some fun.

When I busted quite deep into the evening tournament it was more to do with the blinds/chip average than anything else, so I was totally cool about it.

I actually went looking for a cash game as I felt that after playing badly in the APAT I’d played really well in the evening comp.

I was totally card dead in the cash and just couldn’t get anything going but as the blinds didn’t go up every 30 minutes I was prepared to be patient. I thought I’d get a spot eventually. I moved tables 3 times to get on the easiest one which I managed eventually.

My last hand of the day was when I opened a pot in late position with 9,6. I know it’s not the best starting hand but I always seem to do well with it and I’d been very tight so thought I could rep a much bigger hand if I had to.

Anyway as I open the pot for a standard raise and the young kid to my immediate level says raise and chucks some chips in. Now I know 100% for sure he didn’t notice that I’d already opened so I knew he didn’t intend to 3 bet he just thought he was opening.

1 other player calls the 3bet so I just make up the difference and we are 3 way to the flop.

The flop comes 6h,7h,9h. I check the kid bets about 2/3rds of the pot, the other guy calls and I ship all my chips in for a pretty big over bet raise.

The kid tanks for a while and calls and then the other guy does the same.

So I’m all-in and covered in a 3 way pot but they still have chips. The pot is more than big enough to cover my whole day so I’m praying no Heart hits as I know I must lose if it does.

The turn is 3c and they both check. The river is the 8d and again they both check. This fills me with confidence as the flush doesn’t hit and their checks suggest weakness.

So I announce very clearly that I have” Two Pair” and the one guy immediately says “that beats me” and he shows the Ah and mucks.

The kid to my left say something like “what 2 pair have you got?” and Patrick the dealer says “Show and take” or similar, so I turn my hand over and show the 9, 6.

He still does nothing for a while then turns over his cards and says “I have a straight” and shows 5h,5s.

I was not a happy bunny. First of all that he could call a pretty big shove with an under pair to the board, and secondly for the blatant slow roll.

Now recently I played a shocker versus Tom French in a tournament at Coventry where I tanked for a long time with the 2^nd nuts before calling, (it was a long story why I tanked so long which I won’t bore you with) but at least I flipped my cards over as soon as I actually made the Fekin call.

I told the kid what I thought of his call on the flop and suggested in some pretty colourful language that it would have been easier for me to take if he’d just said “I have a straight” as soon as he checked behind on the river.

That was the end of a not so great day for me.

Baz “God” McDonald on the other hand did rather better than most in the Main Event, and if you want to know why they call him “Run like God McDonald”, a perfect example happened earlier in the day when someone shipped in from the button for 25k with AK and he called from the sb with AQ.

The big blind folded and then all hell broke loose when it was realised that the buttons cards (AK) had been mucked by the dealer.

So Baz wins a 50k pot without the worry of having to try and outdraw the AK. Apparently the guy was moaning like F about it, but to be honest the way Baz runs he’d have binked anyway. Baz went on to make the Final Table on day 2.

I played the GUKPT £1,000 Main Event at Walsall recently and had a good day even though it all ended badly.

My initial starting table was pretty easy but throughout the day as players busted out it got tougher and tougher. All the empty seats were filled by better and better players and I was surrounded by professional players.

The table talk between the pro players I found amusing and annoying in almost equal measure, mainly because they were talking about me!

I had some good hands in some good spots and for the most part I didn’t need to show my hole cards. There were three or four hands when I put in a big 3 or 4 bets to take pots and I didn’t show my cards when they folded.

2 of the pro’s, (1 either side of me) would then start saying what they folded and what they thought I had and talking about me as if I wasn’t even there. Their comments were not complimentary and were borderline insulting.

Yes they are better players than I am, but I’m fairly confident that I am better than they thought I was. It suited me that they were underestimating me though. To win money at poker you do not necessarily have to be more skilful than your opponent. You can win with less skill, so long as you are just more skilful than he thinks you are. Underestimating your opponents level is a recipe for disaster.

Even though I could do, I will not name the pros that were guilty of bad mouthing me.

I think in fairness I’ve been guilty in the past of doing to others what they did to me. I’ve been on tables at Coventry or the Broadway or Gala with regulars that I know well and we’ve openly discussed the play of other players in less than glowing terms.

I try to stop myself from swearing or moaning when I suffer bad beats etc but it’s tough in the heat of the moment. However I will make a point of not discussing peoples play as if they are deaf in future having been on the receiving end.

On a positive note I had Chas Chatta sat next to me for a short while. He’s a sponsored pro for Genting and is something to do with Bankroll Supply I think. Without doubt one of the nicest guys in poker. I’ve only met him once previously; in the £250 6max at the GUKPT Coventry last year and he struck me right away as a good guy.

My GUKPT main event ended in a massive pot 20 minutes from the end of day 1. After playing all day and going from the 20k starting stack up to 64k I get moved tables and bust 1^st hand. I 3 bet someone when I pick up 9,9 and he and the BB call me.

So even though I 3bet we are 3 way to the flop and I hit a set. Can’t remember the last time I hit a set in a 3 bet pot, it was probably 1987.

Sadly though one of my opponents hits a middle pin straight on the turn and I bust out in a pot that had 140k + in it.

At the end of the day the tournament CL had 170k so the 140k would have put me about 3rd in chips of the 55 remaining.

So dreams of winning a GUKPT or APAT are still on hold. Work to do on my Helmuth rants and must remember that Donkeys aren’t deaf.